No one likes to be called a racist, or prejudiced, or “close minded”. But if we really look down deep, I bet all of us could find personal beliefs within us that we would rather not share with others. I’m no exception. I’ve known I was gay since high school. Nature, nurture, that’s a discussion for a different day. Fact remains, like I said, I’ve known since high school. Yet, I always hid that fact from my friends, from my family, from my co-workers, and certainly from the public eye. I did this even though I had the best family ever. Why? Well, I guess the honest answer is that I was ashamed. I didn’t want people to dislike me. I didn’t want them to think I was “different”. I didn’t want to be different. I grew up in central Illinois – not exactly a place that would welcome me with open arms. And in fact, I learned the hard way, many people in that down did not accept me for who I was, even before I told them. This continued through college. Again, I was pretty sure that my fellow sorority sisters wouldn’t exactly appreciate or even understand me if I did tell them.
But dammit, something came over me and I did tell my family and friends in law school. To my surprise, I had very few “non-supporters” and those folks were quickly ushered out of my life. I don’t miss them. Other people, while not outright opposed, didn’t exactly stay in touch either. I don’t miss them either. Yet, still to this stay, I have kept my private life close to my chest. I certainly didn’t stand up for my rights in public. I always told myself that I wanted people to like me for me. But the truth is, I wasn’t letting people know me.
I’m still having a hard time, all these years later, accepting myself I guess. But I’m bound and determined to make a fresh start. Recently, I have realized that as a St. Louis injury attorney, I have access to the courts – I have access to social media – I have contacts that I can tap to really help people. I can be a part of this gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered community and really make a difference. I know that you all have legal questions too and want to feel like you have someone on your side. I’ve been there – I was worried about being judged. So fellow peeps out there, I apologize that I haven’t been a voice for you all in the past. I vow to make a change – starting now.
To join me, please follow me on Twitter @KLindsayRakers. I am in the process of developing new websites.